Triggerfish Tuesday #5 – Electric Bikes, Gentle Torture & Polite Checkmates

This week, Ben glided in on the back of his dad’s electric bike — presumably. Naomi didn’t actually see it, but after last week’s breaking news headline (“Ben Arrives on Motorbike!”), she’d like to issue an official correction before rumours of a chess biker gang start.

Dennis, fully recovered from his flu and clearly making up for lost time, arrived in peak form. Naomi was his first victim… or so he thought. His aggressive attacking style nearly worked until Naomi neatly forked both his rooks while he was busy admiring his own tactics. He retaliated with a fork of his own, evening things out, but Naomi ultimately claimed the endgame with quiet satisfaction.

A new lady wandered in saying she “needed a refresher.” Sven, our resident bringer of both knowledge and pain, gallantly offered to help. We hope he went gently on her, but considering she requested a break mid-session and still came back for more, the evidence suggests otherwise.

Reggie and Charlie locked horns in a series of tense, silent battles that could’ve gone either way. Meanwhile, Ben faced off against Dennis, who pulled off a sneaky win and later explained:

“Well… he allowed me to attack.”
Note to all: Never. Allow. Dennis. To. Attack.

Ben, of course, settled the score in round two, ending the night on a diplomatic 1–1 and a smirk that said, “See you next Tuesday.”

Clive, calm as always, found a worthy rival in Yi. Their matches were slow, tactical, and oddly meditative — like two chess monks in deep thought. One win, one draw, and Clive quietly claimed the night.

Michael, this night’s youngest warrior, faced newcomer Dries and fell bravely. Dries is shaping up to be a dangerous addition — polite, but lethal.

Then, when Sven finally ran out of opponents to “educate,” he turned his sights on Naomi, who was mid-conversation with Ben’s dad, passionately demonstrating the most amazing chess app on the planet (ClashOTB, naturally). Despite her protests, Sven’s deadly politeness prevailed — he even said “please.”

What followed was the most courteous annihilation in Triggerfish history:

“Thank you,” he said, taking her knight.
“Thank you,” again, capturing her queen.
And finally, a cheerful “thank you” with checkmate.

Naomi, humbled but not broken, sought redemption against 9-year-old Michael, who shyly admitted he’d only ever won one game since joining the club. Perfect, she thought. Safe. Surely.

Thirty minutes later, Michael sat back, beaming:

“I’ve now won TWO games since joining Helderberg Chess Club!”

Naomi blinked, sighed, and muttered, “You’re welcome.”

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😆 Summary

• 🛵 Electric bike confirmed. (Last week’s motorbike misidentification officially corrected.)
• 🧠 Naomi forked Dennis, got forked back, still triumphed.
• 💅 Sven’s “gentle refresher” produced mild trauma.
• 🚫 Dennis attacked once. Never again.
• 🧘‍♂️ Clive and Yi: Zen masters of the night.
• 👋 Welcome, newcomer Dries — polite, promising, and terrifying.
• 🧒 Michael doubled his lifetime wins — courtesy of Naomi.
• 🙏 Sven remains the most polite predator in the Western Cape.

Moral of the story:
Never underestimate a nine-year-old. Never let Dennis attack.
And above all — never agree to “just one quick game” with Sven… especially if he says “please.” ♟️😂